He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize