i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
