this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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