Your tits are I can't wait for
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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