I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
