It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
