you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
