So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize