Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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