she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
