Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize