I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
