meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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