The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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