you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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