better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
