Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
