is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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