I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
