i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
