Midget sex pt 2 tonight
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
please don't ironically join a cult
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