your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
