yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
