the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
