I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
