I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
