i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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