I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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