I'm so fucking centered right now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
