Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
