Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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