I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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