Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize