My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
