its not stalking. its research.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
