The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Will exercising make me less horny?
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