I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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