and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
