So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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