Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We left the knife in your bed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
