WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
