I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i came on her dog
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
