I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
