i barfeds in our rink
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
