My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
