My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
