I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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