Don't you send me to vm
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize