tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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