also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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