It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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