I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
