Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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