What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize