he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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