the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you made out with another girl for some wings
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
