she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
