We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
