After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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