i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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