i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
only if we run a train.
done.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
