I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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