So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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