tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
