when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize