Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
