youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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