You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
