pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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