im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
